Ugh, sorry for updating again, I just felt the need to tell you guys that lately it’s been really hard for me to think straight. It get’s me really upset when I say stupid things cause I can’t think, I’m very overwhelmed with other thoughts. It is a medical condition, but it will go away, but for right now I’m having a lot of trouble coping with the fact that it feels like I’m losing control of my head. It get’s me emotional because it is an illness in my head, which does control my emotions, causing my to feel depressed, anxious, confused, frightened, and I do sound stupid a lot of the time because my mind is very caught up in thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I can think if I’m focusing on a specific topic, but other times (like in conversation and or the same comments I leave) I can’t think. It’s been harder for me to read things too, I am a bit dyslexic and lately I don’t know why, but I’ve been reading things very wrong. I feel so dumb recently, my mom says I’m too hard on myself, and I am, but I just can’t take how every time I do something wrong, or say something I feel makes me look stupid, I obsess over that thought to the point were I just want to let go of those thoughts, but I can’t. I lose sleep because I get so overwhelmed… Don’t give me sympathy, that’s not why I made this journal, I wanted to let you guys know that I’m being a huge idiot but I don’t mean to be. Sorry if I’ve said anything offensive or mean or pathetic to you recently, I never meant to, I just am not fully aware recently, It might seem like I am, but I know I’m not... But I’m no Einstein, I do say dumb things, just recently I’ve realized how dumb I sound when I am overwhelmed….And I know this isn’t a good excuse for my behavior, I must learn to cope with this rather than complain, but for right now I’m still learning how to do that, it’s difficult for me, but I’m determined to learn how.

(to my friend who know about my other issues to the above statement, my major issue and fear is fading, thanks for the help, I love you guys so much for helping me)

Sorry for wasting your time, thanks for reading though….

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